Become the mother she comes to.
We become the mother she needs over time, again and again, through all the different phases of our daughter’s life.
Your daughter is going to change a hundred times.
Motherhood will ask you to change with her.
The mother she needed at six won't be exactly who she needs at twelve.
The way she reached for you at eight may look nothing like the way she reaches for you at sixteen.
Her feelings will change.
Her needs will change.
Her world will get bigger.
And just when you think you've figured her out, you may find yourself standing in front of an entirely new version of your daughter wondering...
How do I reach her now?
This is motherhood.
And I don't believe our job is to get it right the first time.
I believe our daughters are continually inviting us to become.
To listen differently.
To see more clearly.
To soften where we've become rigid.
To get honest about the fear underneath our control.
To learn how to feel what we were never allowed to feel.
To know ourselves more intimately so we can stop asking our daughters to carry the parts of us we haven't yet learned how to hold.
This is the work I do with mothers.
I help you become the mother she comes to.
Not because you never get triggered.
Not because you always say the right thing.
Not because your daughter is always happy with you.
And definitely not because you become some perfectly regulated, endlessly patient version of yourself who speaks in gentle parenting scripts all day.
I help you understand your daughter.
I help you understand yourself.
I help you see what is happening between you when the attitude, the silence, the outbursts, the fear and your own stuff make it really hard to see clearly.
And I help you find your way back to her.
Again and again and again.
Here’s the truth I learned the hard way, too.
We don’t instantly become the mother our daughter needs the moment she is born.
Wherever you are in the phase of motherhood with your daughter, I wanted to create a space where you could get the support you needed.
Not to outsource your own wisdom, but to help you get more connected to it.
Because I know how much you want this.
You want to be the one she calls with the good news and the moments when she is struggling.
You want to be the person she comes to in real time - with the real story—not the edited version she gives you because she's afraid of your reaction.
You want her to know she can mess up and always come home.
You want to believe her when she tells you she's hurting instead of secretly wondering if she's being dramatic.
You want to be able to hold her feelings without immediately trying to fix them, correct them, or make them go away.
You want to trust yourself when a hard parenting decision needs to be made.
You want to stop replaying conversations at night wondering if you said the wrong thing.
You want to look at the woman your daughter becomes and know:
I knew her.
I saw her.
I made room for her to become herself.
And you want to still know each other when she's grown.
The uncomfortable reality is that the relationship you want with your daughter will require something of you.
This often means making changes within ourselves that are part of our own healing.
Not perfection.
Becoming.
To soften toward her, you may need to soften inside yourself.
To release control, you may have to uncoil the sense of control you’ve relied on your whole life.
If you want her to trust her feelings, you may have to stop being afraid of yours.
If you want her to believe she's worthy without performing, you may have to confront how deeply you've tied your own worth to achievement, “doing,” or getting it “right.”
If you want her to come to you with the truth, you have to become a woman who can hear it.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGURE THIS OUT ALONE.
There are two ways to work with me:
Mama Have Mercy is my signature group coaching + mentorship program to help you raise a strong, emotionally resilient daughter without letting your own fear, control + “stuff” run the relationship — so you can become the mother she comes to, again and again, through every phase of her life.
This is for the mother who wants on-going, focused support as she grows with her daughter and would like a community of mothers to learn alongside.
This is where you bring me the text.
The fight.
The eye roll that sent you over the edge.
The conversation you keep avoiding.
The fear that you're losing her.
The thing your daughter is doing that you cannot stop taking personally.
Mama Have Mercy is ongoing coaching and mentorship for mothers who want support in the actual moments motherhood is happening.
You don't need another parenting book sitting on your nightstand.
You need somewhere to bring the real shit and get support in real time.
For the mother who knows something deeper is happening and wants my eyes fully on her relationship.
Maybe the distance between you is growing.
Maybe you're fighting constantly.
Maybe you're deeply worried about your daughter.
Maybe you can feel your own history, anxiety, fear, or need for control taking up too much space in the relationship.
Or maybe you're simply ready to do deep, private work around the mother you want to be.
This is focused, intimate support for you and your specific mother-daughter dynamic.
Hi, I’m Trish.
And I know all about wanting to do this right.
Right by her - my first born.
And her - my second born - because the universe sent me two.
I didn’t grow up with a close relationship with my mother. I had no modeling for how to nurture or what it meant to be “emotionally close” to someone. I didn’t know the “right things to say” or how to comfort someone when they were crying.
But my own journey of healing and being a therapist for the last 15+ years reconnected me to my natural ability to nurture and connect. As I became more in tune with myself, I became more in tune with others. In some ways, I feel like I learned how to love.
And after spending years counseling mother/daughter relationships, I have come to understand exactly what daughters need most from us. And being rooted in these perspectives will shape your responses and help you connect with your own heart-led instincts.
I also know all too well the level of self-awareness, self-soothing, and self-discipline required to hold back all my own sh*t so that I don’t harm my daughters.
And the truth is, I don’t always succeed.
I’ve not been a perfect mother - believe me.
I am just as flawed and wounded as anyone else.
And I’ve not had children with easy temperaments.
It has been messy + desperate over here at times.
It was honestly devastating when I realized just how difficult it would be to mother well when my own childhood wounds were getting triggered faster than I could heal them.
That is why my program has the word “mercy” in it. Because we must have mercy on ourselves as we endeavor to learn what we were not shown, to give what we did not receive, and to build capacity for emotions we ourselves never got to feel.
I know how hard this work is.
I know how painful it is - to confront ourselves, our own behaviors, and to actually allow ourselves to feel more, when some of those feelings are RAW AF.
What you get from me is over two decades of attachment expertise - what our kids need, what you need, and why - and the insight that will quickly flip your thinking on its head and get you centered back into connection and relationship with your daughter.
What I offer is unconditionally nonjudgmental, heartfelt, no b.s. support - designed for transformation. We don’t just want the insight - we want the integration of these new perspectives and communication skills.
During your time with me you are going to:
get to the bottom of the attitudes, outbursts, and behaviors that your daughter is currently exhibiting and learn immediately how to start shifting the dynamic.
understand what she is needing from you at all times and be deeply supported while you develop the skills that were never taught, shown, or modeled for you.
get really clear on the kind of relationship you want to have with your daughter and the sh*t that’s getting in the way of you creating exactly that.
have mercy on yourself because I will insist that you do. Yes, we are going to do hard things and feel hard things, but you are also going to start loving yourself and accepting yourself more than you ever have before. Because if you can’t have more compassion, more acceptance, and more love for all sides of yourself - how on earth can you accept and love all sides of her?
stop getting in your head when it comes to worrying so much about how she’s going to “turn out” and future tripping about her current behavior.
become way more attuned to yourself, your own needs, limits, feelings, and instincts, and as a result of tapping into your own truth, you will become way more attuned to hers.
see your blind spots, your projections, your anxiety, and your propensity to take her behavior personally, so you can start meeting her exactly where she is.
awaken that beautiful heart of yours and free it from the clutches of fear and control, shame and rigidity.
Would it be better for me to invest in therapy?
I will always recommend people invest in on-going therapy because it is a sacred process that tends to the deepest parts of ourselves that never got attention and allows us an opportunity to be reparented. At the same time, where I find therapy lacking is the day-to-day integration of the shifts that occur within the therapy hour. As humans, we tend to slide back in-between sessions, back into old patterns of thinking, old ways of being, and old styles of coping and self-protection. By the time integration occurs, five years could pass, your daughter will be in college, and you’ll be wondering why there’s so much distance.
I believe we need to get to the heart of the issue now and support you in integrating the new perspectives, insights, and shifts into your dynamic with your daughter now. And because of my 15+ years as a therapist and mother/daughter coach, you get that expertise and insight in your pocket all month.
Rest assured: we will do deep work together in this program.
You will gain incredible insight into yourself.
And you are going to see results when THIS is the type of guidance you immerse yourself into.
How do I get more information to know if this right for me?
Start by filling out the application and letting me know more about what you are currently struggling with and where you are hoping to get support. You will be able to ask questions on the application that I will then reach out and answer for you.
If there’s anything I’m really good at, it’s connection.
It’s my super power. It’s at the heart of all my training and experience as a therapist. I know what builds connection and what strains it. I know how to make that connection so strong - overflowing, in fact - that no conflict or strife can break it. In fact, I know how to turn conflict into a strengthening experience rather than a destabilizing one for the relationship.
I am also really good at seeing people and patterns. I can see who people are (the best of them) and what they are needing from the relationship. And I can see unconscious patterns that are being played out in real time. I use this skill to help you see yourself, your daughter, and your family dynamics more clearly so you can get out of your head and back into your heart - where I know you want to be when you are relating with her.
We all have stuff that comes up in our relationships. I’m here to help you identify how your own stuff is showing up with your daughter and how to grow alongside her and show up the way you always intended to.
I want you to walk away from this program feeling different and responding differently in your relationship.
I believe there is a way we can support our child’s developing self, combat cultural influences, help them solve problems, and maintain a strong sense of connection through all stages of their lives.
As a teacher, I get straight to the heart of things. I am here to offer a very compassionate, warm-hearted space to lend you insight, support your process, and help you walk away with confidence and clarity about how to best nurture yourself, your daughter, and your connection to each other.
