Unbreakable Bonds, Unbreakable Daughters.
Keep them close, mama.
Let me show you how.
We are so worried.
Any minute now our daughters are going to become incredibly difficult and disrespectful, hard to understand, and impossible to control people who we can no longer connect with.
We worry so much about the teenage years that at the first sign of “disrespect,” we try to nip it in the bud.
We worry we are raising entitled children who will never clean up after themselves, be responsible, or recognize they are “part of the problem.”
We are bracing ourselves for when she pushes us away and shuts us out - as if it is inevitable. As if we can’t continue to be her emotional refuge, her safe place, her most sacred confidante.
Mama, it’s time we stop being so afraid.
What ends up happening is we start focusing on all the wrong things and completely missing her.
Our own anxiety starts to invade the relationship. We start over-correcting behavior and missing the growing human underneath.
We start reacting…but not going back to repairing….and the tension between you starts to build until the distance is a wall and we see no way back in.
Yes, emotions run high in the teenage years, but emotions have run high in my house since my little girls were toddlers.
We don’t have to be afraid of big emotions.
And we certainly don’t have to be afraid of our daughters who need us just as much during these tumultuous times as they did when they were little.
Hi, I’m Trish.
And I know all about wanting to do this right.
Wanting to do right by her. My first born.
And also, her. My second born. Because the universe sent me two.
As a therapist for the last 12+ years, working primarily with women and mother/daughter relationships, I know how important it is to us that we have strong relationships with our daughters.
I know how much we want to resource them and guide them. To give them a non-negotiable sense of their self-worth. To give them the reassurance and internal strength that could help them through difficult times.
But let’s be real - our daughters don’t want to listen to us. And this moment arrived sooner than many of us were prepared for. They take in what we model, but they don’t necessarily want to take in what we teach.
But I believe there is a way for us to have a strong and positive influence on our girls, a way to lend our wisdom and guidance without lecturing them. And I am absolutely certain there is a way to maintain a strong relationship with our daughter through all the robust growth periods of her life.
